Why It’s Important to Establish Friendship before Dating

Melanie Kane
3 min readJun 23, 2022

Strong romance isn’t built on romance alone. It is founded on friendship. That is why friends to lovers have always been one of the most famous and proven to be long-lasting tropes.

Here are a few other reasons why being friends before lovers is ideal:

Two-Thirds of Successful Couples Started Out as Friends

When you think about it, some couples could not pass as good friends when you try to remove the emotional attachment and sexual intimacy from the picture.

Sometimes, the friendship stage only occurs after the failed romance or when couples decide to go separate ways because of individual differences and remain as friends, only for them to never speak again.

That is why building a friendship before you consider going into a serious relationship isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It indicates that the relationship is not superficial. Other than that, starting out as friends before lover is great because:

1. You know their real personality.

Typically, normal couples only get to know their partners as the relationship progresses. They only get to show and express the “real” them behind all those facades once they’re comfortable with one another, only to realize later on that some of the traits their partners possess are unlikeable.

But when you build a friendship first, you will get to know them before anything else–their flaws, vibe, and entire persona.

Taking the time to have multiple discussions over a lot of things and getting to know one another before committing is a definite approach to comprehending each other’s character.

2. Communicating your thoughts won’t be hard.

Arguments in relationships are often caused not just because of the disagreement itself, but also by the manner both sides express one another’s messages.

Having several conversations as friends provides you with enough practice to communicate with them and comprehend the messages you want to convey. Even if you speak the same language, you should take note that not everyone speaks the same.

When we use words to express our emotions, the other side may interpret them differently. After you’ve been friends for a long time, you’ll be able to discover a few things about how they feel about particular problems.

3. You get to check if you are a good match.

Determining compatibility isn’t easy. Truth be told, people often learn this only after a relationship has ended. Most couples break up simply because they are incompatible. This is where friendly discussions and spending time together become handy.

Starting a friendship before diving deep into a relationship is the most vital step in building a good relationship, especially if your goal is to look for a long-time partner that will bring nothing but pure joy and undying romance in your life.

In your life, a partner should be a source of joy, not the other way around. Unfortunately, some of us made the mistake of jumping first and then wanting to be friends later when things don’t work out.

We get lucky sometimes and gain a few life lessons on other occasions. Love has a way of finding you when you least expect it, and the right person may have been standing right in front of you all along.

All you need is some distance and perhaps a reality check to help clear your vision and see what’s in front of you so you can make the best decision possible.



Melanie Kane

I’m passionate about helping people find deep, emotional connections through 1stchoicedating.com/welcome