Why Emotional Intelligence Increase Happiness in Relationships

Melanie Kane
3 min readApr 28, 2022

Developing strong people skills is necessary if you want to have a successful relationship or career.

In fact, according to Helpguide, emotional intelligence, love, and relationships are linked to increased happiness between a couple.

But reaching the height of emotional intelligence isn’t easy. We need all the focus and mindfulness we can muster and practice it on a consistent basis in order to see any lasting results.

For example, we need to be aware of what’s working and what’s not working in order to cultivate a high EQ.

Couples with good EQ can contribute to self-actualization and overall happiness which in turn creates a positive feedback loop.

According to Wechsler, happiness is the key factor that has a positive impact on intelligent behavior.

Learning to Love Smart

When you’re falling in love with someone for the first time, you often end up wondering whether they’re “the one”?

How do you know if you truly love them or are simply infatuated with romantic notions? You might have been burned before and you don’t want to make the same mistake.

If you want to learn how to love someone smartly, you have to listen to your emotional experience. Gauge your feelings.

Do you feel energized and mentally clear while talking to them? Do you feel emotionally overwhelmed whenever you’re around them?

Let empathy and compassion guide you.

Giving the Support and Love Your Partner Needs

Everyone shows love and support differently. Some might find support from others to be considerate, while others might not appreciate it at all. Make an effort to learn about your partner’s needs and respond to them accordingly.

According to Dr. Chapman’s book, “The 5 Love Languages”, he learned that people have different ways in how they show and express love.

  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Physical Touch
  • Acts of Service
  • Receiving Gifts

Each person has a different primary love language, and so they may feel more appreciated in one way over the other.

Learning from Each Other

Whether your relationship is new or old, there are still many things you can learn from your partner. As a result, couples with strong emotional intelligence are constantly discovering new things about their partner.

These couples avoid stereotyping, assumptions, or casting quick judgment. Rather, they are open and honest with the way they communicate with their partners.

They go through life much more easily than those who are quick to anger or make hasty judgments.

Respect Goes Both Ways

At the core of any relationship, respect is an important aspect to maintain lasting happiness.

Emotionally intelligent couples have a deep admiration for their partner. They honor each other’s presence in their lives and hold them in high regard or esteem.

But of course, respect goes both ways and should be demonstrated on a daily basis — whether verbally or nonverbally.

If You’re Still New…

Developing emotional intelligence in your relationship can increase your overall life satisfaction and happiness.

Not to mention, the positive impact it has on the people around you is tangible. As a couple with strong emotional intelligence, you’re deeply aware of each other’s wants and needs.

The capacity to handle conflicts and misunderstandings then becomes much greater.



Melanie Kane

I’m passionate about helping people find deep, emotional connections through 1stchoicedating.com/welcome