Have you recently gone through a break-up?
It might not sink in immediately. But once it does, it will feel extremely painful — it is as if your whole world is falling right before your eyes. You start to believe that your life is over and that you will never find love like that again.
I know it might seem like it’s the end of the world — as loss and grief consume you. But what you’re feeling right now is not permanent. It will come and pass.
All your feelings of confusion and defeat are merely temporary. They are necessary for you to move on. But why does the loss feel so overwhelming?
They left you with a space only they can fill.
You had them, and now you don’t. The space they used to fill in your heart has been replaced with loneliness and despair. You feel empty now. Hollow and indifferent to the world.
You think it’s your fault.
You constantly blame yourself. Although you and your former partner had a fair share of faults, you still think it was yours alone. Even on mistakes that you didn’t do, you automatically think the problem was on you.
The thought of them with someone else physically hurts.
You built your person for someone else. All those healing and teaching each other to be better, they’re going to apply all of those to their next partner. Just the thought of that makes you fall apart.
You lost two people all at once.
They were both your best friend and your partner. You built a friendship out of that relationship and now that they’re not in your life anymore, it feels like you lost a big part of yourself. The person you used to unveil all of your secrets with is now a stranger.
The unwavering belief of hopelessness.
You thought you were finally whole, but history repeated itself. Your whole world left you, and there’s nothing you can do. You’re left all alone, the sadness has convinced you that you’re never going to find the happiness you deserve.
On healing, moving on, and getting better.
Overcome your fears. Use this heartbreak to get a better understanding of yourself. In order to heal, you must first convince yourself to let go of the notion that you deserve the pain and that you’re unlovable. Believe that it wasn’t your fault.
Reach out to your friends, or as much as possible, to professionals. Reaching out for help is a guaranteed effective way of getting out of that never-ending pit.
Grief comes in great, big waves. It will hit you hard when you try to get better, and even more when you think you’re getting better. That’s just how it is. No person is safe from it, and it comes with the process of healing.
Whether you like it or not, you have no choice but to go through the necessary steps so you’d become whole again. In the end, you’re responsible for your own healing.