Top Reasons Why You Should Avoid Dating a Pick Me Girl

Melanie Kane
3 min readOct 17, 2022


Does your girlfriend criticize and mock other women?

Does she shame girly interests just to appease men?

In short, does she show signs of internalized misogyny?

If so, you might be dating a pick me girl.

A pick me is someone who is obsessed with getting attention and affirmation from others, especially from men. They will go to great lengths just to be called one of the boys even if it means putting other women down.

Dating them won’t do you any good. Here’s why.

They’re subtle bullies.

They will drag other women down and they’re not sorry for it. They may embarrass and dismiss them just to appear cool in the eyes of men. For instance, you can hear them say the following,

  • Women nowadays wear so much makeup. Fortunately, I’m not like them. I’m all for natural beauty!
  • That girl is so high-maintenance. No wonder why no guy would dare to date her.
  • Why does she dress in revealing and short clothes? Does she not have any respect for herself?

When dating someone, consider whether they are not only kind to you but also to those around them. This way, you’ll know you’re spending the rest of your life with someone who respects others and doesn’t judge them for how they live their lives.

They will brag about their sacrifices.

Does your partner insist on paying all the bills, cooking for you even when it’s unnecessary, and even washing your underwear despite knowing you can do it yourself?

If they do, you may think that they care for you. But, unfortunately, they don’t. They just want to brag about their sacrifices to uplift themselves.

They will go above and beyond in the relationship to make you believe that every woman should be doing what they do to make the relationship work.

As a result, you will have unrealistic expectations about women that when they fail to meet them, you will see them as foolish and incompetent.

They refuse to hold you accountable for your actions.

Since they are men-pleasers, they will turn a blind eye to your mistakes. They will feed your ego and make you believe you’re always right.

Sometimes, they’ll even victim-blame women just to please men.

For instance, they will support sexual abusers because they believe it is the women’s fault that they dress provocatively, prompting men to abuse them.

Worse, they might even reason that we can’t blame men because they have needs that they can’t resist.

These women are awful and if you’re dating one, you need to reconsider your relationship.

Avoid a pick me girl at all costs

A pick me girl doesn’t love you. You may get deceived by their kindness, but it’s all a facade. They will do nice things just to please you.

In the end, it’s all about how they can benefit from you. They only want validation and if they don’t get it from you, they will easily replace you.

They’re not worth your love. So, save yourself for someone that will love you healthily and genuinely.



Melanie Kane

I’m passionate about helping people find deep, emotional connections through