This Is Love

Melanie Kane
3 min readAug 30, 2022

Starting anew with someone is a thrill. Everything is fresh, and there is still a lot about them to unravel. You get to know them on a deeper level, learn their interests, and understand their train of thought.

Everyone loves the idea of being loved. We strangely fixate ourselves on this feeling, and we strongly crave it. It’s like a drug. There’s no rational explanation as to why it’s addicting. But regardless of how many times we’ve fallen in love in this lifetime, we still often ask ourselves, “Is this what love is supposed to feel like?”

Love is one complicated concept, so give yourself a minute to pause and think, and ask yourself these questions.

“Do I feel warm around them?”

You feel at home around their arms. Like nothing can ever hurt you. Their presence gives you comfort. You feel safe and content beside them.

Being in love should give you positive energy. The thought of your partner should offer you instant relief. You don’t romanticize them or your relationship in your head. Instead, you live in reality and you’re more than happy with it.

“Do I want them in my life now and in the future?”

The mind can be deceptive sometimes. When you’re attracted to someone, dopamine levels rise, causing your brain to experience pleasure. What’s supposed to be a fleeting moment can fool you into thinking you’re in love. Ponder on it. Think it through. If you see yourself still being with them even in the far future, that’s when you know that what you’re feeling toward them is true.

“Do I act my true self around them?”

Quirks and weird personalities are what make a person lovable. If you can be vulnerable around them where you don’t have to pretend or put on a mask, that’s a good sign. Love is about acceptance. You should love each other, including your imperfections.

“Do I feel connected with them?”

Your minds are in sync. There are occurrences where you finish each other’s sentences, or even say what they’re about to say before they could. It freaks you out sometimes. But the truth is, you love it. You adore the connection.

Those small engagements, inside jokes, shared favorite songs — these are what make your connection stronger. It’s incomparable, and you have never felt a connection as strong.

“Does this person make me feel secure?”

Insecurities may arise now and then. There are plenty of reasons why a person experiences jealousy. They could stem from past traumas brought about by previous relationships.

While small jealousy doesn’t immediately make you and your partner incompatible, it’s a lot easier to have those negative feelings fixed, rather than dwelling on them alone. If it’s nothing like that with your partner, that’s how you know they bring out the best in you.

Is Love Supposed to Be Easy?

Not necessarily. How love is defined in romance books isn’t always accurate. Truth be told, nothing ever comes easy. There will be days when the sail is smooth, but there will also be a fair share of stormy nights. If what you have is real, no storm or violent waves can ever destroy your love. That is how you know if what you have is real. That’s when you can confidently say, “this is love.”



Melanie Kane

I’m passionate about helping people find deep, emotional connections through