She’s Most Likely Playing With You

Melanie Kane
5 min readMay 27, 2022

You don’t want anything to do with a girl who refuses to take you seriously.

I mean, why would you? If you’re trying to be serious in a relationship, you also want the other party to do the same, right? If she doesn’t, it’s not only rude and disrespectful, it’s disheartening. It breaks our hearts knowing our efforts are being laughed at.

You’ve probably had your fair share of women who do this. You learned your lesson and you don’t want to be anywhere near a woman like this.

If you’re having second thoughts about your current lady-friend, don’t drop her yet. Observe her for any signs first. It might just be your paranoid brain telling you to do things without carefully thinking it over.

Signs She’s Playing You Like a Fiddle

1. You’re her Plan B

It’s almost like you’re never her first choice for a weekend hangout.

She doesn’t commit to any weekend plans you make but suddenly asks you to go out with her at the last minute.

At first, you’re happy that she finally went out with you but then you find out she only did because her previous plans got canceled.

It’s not a nice feeling to know you’re not a priority for a hangout.

2. She refuses to introduce you to her friends and family (and refuses to meet yours)

Nothing is shadier than a partner who doesn’t want to meet your family and friends. It’s understandable if she’s shy and anxious about wanting to make a good first impression. But if you two have been dating for a while and she still refuses to meet them, it’s suspicious.

A serious partner would normally be ecstatic about meeting their lover’s family and friends. It’s a show of trust and a sign that they’re ready to take things a step further.

You should probably talk to her about this. At best, she’s just truly nervous about it. At worst, she doesn’t want to take the relationship any further.

3. You’re an alias on her phone

This doesn’t have to count as a red flag. Her nickname for you is probably an inside joke you two have or it’s something she teases you about. Ask her about it but be warned that if she has been lying about being with you, she’s also going to have no problem lying to your face.

If the nickname or alias doesn’t have anything to do with a joke shared between you, she’s hiding you from people. It’s especially alarming if the name your number is registered to is a female’s name.

4. She doesn’t text you first

A normal partner lets you know they’re thinking about you and messages you first. But if all she does is reply to you and it’s always been you that messages first, then you’re probably the farthest thing from her mind.

If she was really into you, she would let you know. I’m not saying a girl has to be obsessed with you to really be a normal girlfriend, but if there’s literally no effort on her part, then it’s saying something.

5. Hot and cold attitude

She loves you one minute and the next she’s putting distance between you. People who are hot and cold with their partners often don’t know what they want. Their actions, as you may have noticed, reflect that.

And that’s unfair to you.

You’re already sure about what you want but if your partner is still on the fence about it, talk to her. It’s not fair to you that she toes the line while you’re already all-in. Give her time, yes, but you can’t be waiting forever.

Signs She’s Only Pretending to Like You

1. Bored when you’re with her

It’s a tough pill to swallow to know that your partner gets bored when you’re in the picture. Most couples are ecstatic when they’re together. So the fact that she isn’t even excited to see you is proof that she’s fake.

2. Never expressing her love to you

Women are normally very expressive. Some less so than others, but they are still more emotional than men. They always want and need to express their love towards their partners.

So if your girl isn’t like this, then it speaks for itself. If she really loves you, she would express it. Whether she says it verbally or through actions, she should show it in some way. If not, then she probably doesn’t like you as much as you’d believe.

3. No interest in your life whatsoever

One of the signs a person is truly in love with someone is when they show interest in their loved one’s life. They will naturally ask questions, follow up with more questions, and maybe input something about their own life to create rapport in the conversation.

If talking to your partner feels like talking to a wall, it’s best to stop trying. Yes, she might talk about herself and complain to you about her life for hours on end. She’d even hope you’ll give her some insight on top of your patience and that’s fine.

But if she doesn’t do the same thing for you, it’s obvious she isn’t interested in you at all.

4. Your appearance is important to her

Women who are young and pretty (and possibly rich too) will only date men who are just as pretty as them. You can tell with the amount of time she worries about how you two look together. If you don’t look just as perfect as she does when you two go out, she’d fuss.

She is most probably only with you because you’re attractive. Or you’re rich enough to bling yourself. It’s worse if she’s really into Instagram and likes to post photos all the time. Sadly, an egotistical woman will only date you if you can match her attractiveness so be wary.

Don’t Waste Your Efforts

You will only exhaust yourself if you continue to waste all your efforts on someone who won’t appreciate or reciprocate them. Prioritize your mental health and think about your self-worth.

Is this really what you deserve? Don’t you deserve respect and proper love from someone?

Think about your options. If talking to her won’t work, then it’s best you drop the relationship. Don’t retaliate, that will only put you on the same level as her.

Love yourself first before anything else.



Melanie Kane

I’m passionate about helping people find deep, emotional connections through