Everyone has their fair share of dating experiences. But dating in a different culture is not often so clear in terms of red flags.
Sometimes we just need to trust in our gut instincts. But some red flags shouldn’t be ignored — even when you’re falling in love.
Some behaviors should give you serious pause because they might indicate a bad pattern.
Rushing for a Relationship
“I can’t live without you.”
If your partner says that to you after the 3rd date then that might be worrying. Love bombing happens when someone tries to win you over with overflowing love and affection that often leads to emotional manipulation.
They seek to isolate you with the intensity of their actions and sometimes it can also be very hard to detect.
As the recipient, love bombing can feel good because of the boost of dopamine and endorphins, but at the same time, you become more dependent and obligated to that person.
So if someone is pushing for a relationship with you, give yourself serious pause and calmly observe their reason for quickly wanting to be in a relationship.
According to Gina Senarighi, Ph.D., “Before you invest in a relationship, observing your partner’s behavior towards the service industry will give you great information about their views on social structure, their sense of entitlement, and how they respond when they’re in positions of power.”
So you should be clear early on whether or not you want to be with someone who feels it’s normal behavior to be rude to waiters or the bartender.
Their Dating Profile is Odd
When it comes to dating, a lot of people want to put their best foot forward. But when it comes to online dating profiles, there’s a clear difference between an authentic one and one that is highly exaggerated.
It’s worth taking note of the things they put on their profile and the things they actually do in real life.
For example, they call themselves ‘business entrepreneurs’ but it turns out, they’re part of an MLM pyramid scheme.
Way Too Emotional
Expressing emotions is normal if you’re in a relationship. In fact, it’s pretty much guaranteed to be an important aspect in any human connection.
But over-the-top emotional behavior over tiny, inconsequential issues could affect your overall relationship happiness in the long run.
Disregard Personal Boundaries
Does your partner respect physical boundaries when you tell them to stop? What if they don’t listen when you ask them to give you space?
Like all personal boundaries, it’s important to stay around someone who can actively listen and respect the ways you want to be treated.
In the end…
It’s important to ask yourself these questions:
- Does their behavior make me feel safe or unsafe?
- Do they make me feel bad about certain aspects of myself?
- Do I feel underappreciated or uncared for when I do things for them?
If you’ve said yes to any of those questions, then you might be in red flag territory. You need to address these issues with you and your partner.
Regardless of whether it leads to a break-up or a breakthrough, it’s important to acknowledge and honor your feelings in order to build self-trust.