Going against the Tide: Why Do Many Women Marry Older Men?

Melanie Kane
3 min readOct 11, 2022


Looking back, couples with age gaps of 10 years or more were fairly common in ancient times. But it wasn’t always about love or personal freedoms. With things like arranged marriage as the norm, being the same age as your partner wasn’t exactly a priority.

Yet, in the modern world, age-gap relationships are often associated with social taboos and stereotypes due to “ageism.” Hence, previously accepted norms are now questioned today.

Although this is the case, age-gap couples still dominate the modern dating landscape. Surveys revealed that a staggering “56% of women would prefer to date a man who is at least 5 years older than them — and 45% want him to be between 5 and 15 years older.”

Thus, women worldwide are more selective about whom to date. They prefer men who are a couple of years older than their age.

Why is this so?

Older men have financial security.

There’s no denying that some men over 40 are wealthier and more established (career-wise) than those younger. Women yearn for a capable man to provide them with a secure future before forming a family.

Older men who are financially stable can provide their wives with things that a younger man who’s still building his career cannot. Still, the type of relationship women choose will depend on what kind of person they want to spend the rest of their life with.

Marrying an older man isn’t always about getting a rich husband who will care for them financially. Women are looking for someone to share their love and companionship with.

They can look past a man’s age not only because he is stable and secure but also because he won’t leave the woman behind after he’s done with her.

Older men uphold chivalry.

Older men tend to have traditional mindsets with “old school” behavior. Hence, they generally uphold the role of being a gentleman and retain the bare minimum, such as being polite.

They take the lead in the relationship and know how to treat a woman right — with respect. Whether it’s simply opening the doors for her or giving her his coat when she seems freezing.

Chivalry is rare nowadays. Hence, it’s in demand as a non-negotiable quality that many women are looking for in a potential partner.

Older men are mature.

Women marry older men because they believe that not only do they have money, but they’re wise, charming, and capable of making them feel special. Mature men exude class and confidence from how they dress or conduct themselves, making them more attractive.

Older men are wise enough to respect women’s boundaries. They understand women’s fears and anxieties while helping them overcome them. They also know where their priorities lie.

Women also tend to look for guidance from their partners. Hence, they want to be with older men who can offer them the right answers to their inquisitive minds.

Older men know how to commit.

Women believe that older men are the type who are committed to staying with them for the long haul. They are ready to settle down.

Although some women enjoy being with young men because they are fun, exciting, and unpredictable. Many women prefer a husband who is old school and doesn’t play around with their hearts.

Older men also have more experience, especially in dating. They have learned from their mistakes in their previous relationships and are more careful than their younger counterparts.

Older men want to settle down and live comfortable lives with their partners. They are typically dating to marry and are willing to do everything they can to strengthen the relationship’s bond.

Vice versa. After all, true love is possible between two people willing to work hard to achieve success together — regardless of age differences.

The bottom line is that it’s crucial for many women to find the right man with the ideal qualities they seek — which is what most older men possess. Marrying an older man isn’t about settling for less, and it definitely shouldn’t be based on financial status alone.

Many women’s happiness is their sole focus. Before they say yes to a proposal from an older man, women ensure they know what they’re getting into. That way, they can make an informed decision, and they’ll be able to avoid major disappointments later on.



Melanie Kane

I’m passionate about helping people find deep, emotional connections through 1stchoicedating.com/welcome